I must admit though, that my presentation last night didn't go as well as I would have liked. I feel that I may have disappointed the wonderful women I met with. I rambled...
Of course, I generally prepare a manuscript so that I can have my thoughts in order. For this presentation, I revised my original talk. As I went over the stories once again, I found I had much more to say about them. Too much, truth be told. You'll see. Here's what I wrote:
INTRODUCTION
Thanks for letting me talk to you this evening!
About 12 years ago, I was invited to review a book for
the UMW at Gold Canyon United Methodist Church. At the time, it came as rather
a surprise to be invited. I was the new secretary, just out of my undergraduate
work at Arizona State University. I’d majored Religious Studies and minored in Anthropology. What
had I read recently that I could discuss with a bunch or church women? I
thought perhaps I should choose something with deep social impact; something
that would highlight a concern of mine, like the status of women in the third
world, or even in our own society today.
Or, perhaps I should discuss the life of a woman who has
impacted the church in the past. I thought of a wonderful book I read in
college about the struggle of Native Americans just after WWII. So many ideas swirled
about in my head that I finally just gave up and went to the UMW library, where
I saw many titles that fell right into the categories I’d considered, but none
piqued my interest that day. Then I saw this book
This might be fun, I thought – and so it was! I’m not
going to talk deep theology here; it’s just a book review of sorts. It’s my way
of letting you in on a little bit about me, too.
This book is about biblical women that we’ve all heard
of. Some are very famous, like the woman at the well – and some are not so
famous – like Michal, daughter of Saul, wife of David. More than that, this
book is about us – women everywhere.
Liz Curtis Higgs writes in her introduction, “we’ve all
been bad girls…and…we all long to be good girls.” According to Higgs, what
constitutes “bad” is a heart hardened to God.
She says that when hearts open up and we begin to listen
to God’s message for us, we begin to become “good girls.”
She illustrates this point in the way she introduces our
women. She begins each chapter with a fictitious modern day woman whose story
resembles that of a particular biblical woman.
Her stories are interesting; they draw you in as you
begin to remember which biblical woman she is introducing.
It was as I read the fictitious stories I found that
there were some characters that I identified with more than I did others. As I
segued into the biblical stories, the ancient women, our spiritual ancestors,
in fact, began to take a new shape. I experienced a few epiphanies – those
little ah-ha moments – when I saw a new meaning in stories that I had once
thought I understood – even some that I had overlooked in the past.
I found myself identifying with the ancient women on a personal level. Suddenly, the story had a new impact it on me.
I would love to share the entire book with you, yet I
wouldn’t want to take from you the pleasure of discovering these stories for
yourselves, if you haven’t already. So, I decided to choose a few chapters –
not necessarily in order – the ones I most strongly found myself in. If you
have already read this book, I hope you find something new; perhaps a new way
of looking at yourself and your faith.
As I do this, I will share three stories: Liz’s
fictitious story, the Bible story, and finally, my own story.
RUTHIE
I found a story that resonated with me as soon as I
started the book. In the introduction, Liz tells the story of Ruthie, an abused
girlfriend whose life is controlled by the one-time “man of her dreams.” A bad
dream, indeed. He took everything that was hers and made it his. If Ruthie
balked, she met his fist.
Reading about Ruthie brought me back to my first
marriage. Eight years of abuse and fear. It didn’t start out that way, of
course. I met my husband – that is, my first husband – when I was in the Air
Force. We were both stationed on Guam. We were both cooks assigned to the main
dining hall at Andersen Air Force Base. He seemed so attentive, and I fell in
love with him. Not that I really knew what love was. I wasn’t even 20 years
old, and I was naïve. Like Ruthie, I was a good girl, who had never seen known
that people hurt the one they professed to love. I was in love with love. We
had moved around a lot when I was young (14 elementary schools, 7 high schools,
10 states). I was always the new girl. The new girl, especially a shy and quiet
one like me, finds one good friend in every bunch, usually another retiring
type. The other, outgoing kids, are an intimidating enigma. At least, they were
to me. So, when it came to boyfriends, I was inexperienced. With no frame of
reference, I was caught by surprise.
Liz Higgs reveals that Ruthie’s story is her story. To
move into her own personal strength, she looked to the women of the Bible for
inspiration. We can too, if we can identify with their stories. The author has
created fictional characters who reflect the qualities of the biblical
characters and help us bridge the gap of time and see ourselves in light of our
ancient predecessors.
SOFIA
The first story I want to share is about Sofia. Now,
Sofia was a rich woman. She hadn’t started out that way. She was what they call
“Nouveau Riche.” She really wanted to climb the social ladder. You’ve seen or
heard stories like this before. One of my favorite movies, “The Unsinkable Mollie Brown” with Debbie Reynolds shows this real life character, Margaret Tobin Brown, whose husband
struck gold, as someone like Sofia – newly rich and dying to be accepted by the
social elite. A few embarrassing hi-jinx ensue before Mollie becomes the great
heroine of the sinking Titanic. Not so much hi-jinx for Sofia.
Sofia and her husband are invited to a high society
charity dinner. In order to take this chance at being accepted by the “old
money” they need to donate a minimum amount of money. Something terrible
happens, though. Sofia’s husband loses all their newly acquired money in the
stock market, but they don’t want to give up the status they have gotten so
very close to attaining. So, they decide to sell a piece of property in Florida
to raise the cash they need. They tell everyone that they are going to donate
every bit of the income from the property to the charity.
But guess what? They make more money on the property
than expected! So what do they do? I think some of you probably know where
we’re going here. They decide to hold back some of the money for their own
personal security. At the dinner, the husband joins the men, where he hands
over the check for exactly one million dollars. But the sale is public
information, and when he is confronted with the fact that he didn’t give it
all, he suffers a heart attack and dies.
In the book of Acts, Sapphira and Ananias want to join
Peter’s group of Way-Followers. Like our fictional couple, they have a piece of
property to sell so they can give the proceeds to Peter as an offering. When
they make the sale, they can’t bring themselves to give the entire amount away,
so they hold back a good portion for themselves. Ananias goes by himself to
give Peter the amount he and Sapphira had agreed to share. But…Peter knows what
they have done. When he confronts Ananias, the poor man falls to the floor,
dead.
Sapphira shows up later, and Peter gives her the
opportunity to tell the truth. Not knowing that her husband has died, she tells
Peter the same story Ananias had told. She, too, dies.
Now, I found myself identifying with this story when I
thought about the way I make my offerings to the church or to charitable
organizations that I want to help fund. I feel a sense of fear that if I give
too much, I won’t have enough to make it through to the next payday. This fear
was stronger during the many years that I was a single mother with three
children to raise and one income. Yet, I am still working the ability to give a
percentage of my pay on a regular basis without fear.
I understand that this comes from what they call a “poverty
mindset.” It also comes from experience. I have filled out pledge cards for
church, called in and pledged for public television and radio, adopted children
across the world, and once promised to give a regular donation to Christian
radio. Each time, I’ve had to stop giving after a few months or a few years
when my income decreased or my expenses increased. Each time, I’ve made the
decision to stop payments, it out of fear of not having enough
I know in my heart the God will take care of everything.
As long as I am doing my part, there is always enough. Yet, I still sometimes
forget to put my trust in God when it comes to money. I am afraid. Of course, I
am not going to drop dead, literally, because I didn’t give what I promised.
Once I made the decision to stop giving as much, I was wracked with a sense of
guilt – I had not followed through on my promise. This guilt can become a wedge
between myself and God.
Have any of you read The Screwtape Letters? For those who have not, this wonderful book is written
in the form of a collection of letters from a senior devil to his protégé, who
is working on turning a human away from God. In this book, C.S. Lewis writes,
“There is, of course, always the chance, not of chloroforming the shame, but of
aggravating it and producing Despair. This would be a great triumph.” Guilt,
becoming despair, is a sign that we have not accepted the forgiveness that God
has offered me through Christ. It is a kind of spiritual death, losing the
faith I had in God.
So, I’ve stopped pledging a certain amount of money or a
percentage of my income, for now. If by doing so I am setting myself up to
separate myself from the goodness of God through guilt, it’s better that I live
by giving what I can when I can as long as I can, whenever I can.
JASMINE
The second set of stories I’d like to share starts with
Liz’s character, Jasmine. I like the name Jasmine – I almost named my oldest
daughter Jasmine, but instead named her after my favorite character in
Children’s Fiction, Betsy Ray, from the Betsy-Tacy series by Maud Hart
Lovelace. But I digress. Higgs’ Jasmine is a vodoun (voodoo) queen in early New Orleans,
sort of like Marie LaVeau, but not as interesting. Jasmine has married a weak
man. He is envious of a neighbor’s land, and wants to purchase it. The neighbor
won’t sell, because the property had been in his family for generations.
Jasmine’s husband Abe is a whiner. He whines and whines about this land until
Jasmine decides to get it for him just to shut him up.
Well, her way of getting it includes calling upon the
Loa – Vodoun spirits – as well as some illegal activity, such as forgery.
Jasmine has connections with many who work in powerful places, and because of
her work with them as a Vodoun priestess, she has power over them as well.
Through her activities, she acquires the property for her husband.
Abe sits in his room overlooking the new land, feeling
both pleased and belittled, because Jasmine also holds her power over him. As
he sits there one day, an old friend of his comes into his room and accuses him
of murdering the man who had previously owned the property. Abe is incredulous
as he hears that the previous owner had committed suicide. The other begs to
Abe to worship God again, as he did before his wife battered him into
converting to Vodoun and believing in many spirits. The other man tells him
that Jasmine will meet a horrible death, and he will not be spared. Abe
realizes that he had turned his back on God in return for Jasmine’s power and
money.
Of course, you’ve likely figured out that this story
segues into the story of Jezebel, who is considered the worst Bad Girl of the
Bible. Her story is in 1 Kings, where she is married to Ahab, King of Israel.
Their marriage is a political and economic alliance. Jezebel is a devoted
worshiper of Baal, and is determined to wipe Israel clean of all of the Hebrew
prophets and priests. She gives orders to have them all killed, and brings in
400 priests and priestesses of Baal and Ashera, Baal’s consort. Ashera is a
fertility goddess, whose worship includes temple prostitutes, while Baal’s
worshipers practice child sacrifice.
Ahab,does nothing to stop Jezebel from following her
agenda. He is a self serving individual with desire for little except property
acquisition. Like Abe in our story, Ahab has his heart set on a specific piece
of land that the owner will not sell because it is his inheritance. In fact, by
Mosaic law, it is illegal for him to sell his inheritance. Ahab doesn’t care.
He pouts and whines until Jezebel makes it her duty to acquire the land for
him. She forges his signature on letters, and sets up the landowner, Naboth, as
traitor to God and King. He is put to death, and the land becomes Ahab’s.
Now, the Hebrew prophet Elijah comes along and accuses
them. Ahab repents once, temporarily. Then, as he is dying from an arrow wound,
he repents again. Jezebel remains a proud, conniving kind of Queen, and in the
end is thrown from her palace walls and torn apart by dogs, as predicted by
Elijah.
I bet you’re wondering what kind of secretary they’ve
chosen for this church if I can find something in this story to identify with!
There are some other ways to interpret Jezebel’s actions that make them more
understandable, but that’s for another discussion. I didn’t choose this story
because I did anything in my life as horrible as the things Jezebel did. I
can’t identify with her thirst for power at all costs, nor her complete and
utter disregard for her husband’s God. I chose this story because there are
small elements of her nature inside me.
You see, I can sometimes be a bit of a “control freak.”
I have trouble letting go of my ideas, my feelings…my desires. I have to work
hard – very hard – to delegate work. I want things to be done my way, and often
I find myself feeling frustration when things aren’t done my way. A good
example of this is the time I decided it was time to hand over the church
newsletter to someone else. I loved doing that newsletter. My creative side
rejoiced in writing articles, aligning photographs to appeal to my own
aesthetic. It really hurt me to have someone else doing the job, even though I
really didn’t have the time. A lot of times, though, I even find myself praying
for things to happen my way – rather than asking for guidance or the ability to
accept things as they are.
I’ll go through a list – “Please God, I want this, this,
this, and this.” The Jezebel in me can feel quite powerful in certain
situations. I have to work daily to repent of my desire for personal power, my
prideful and controlling behaviors. When things do go my way, it’s easy for me
to feel prideful, even gloating (in my head) “See I told you!”
There is certainly a place for empowerment for us as Christians, but it is extremely important that we remember where the power comes from!
LIZ
The last story of Liz’s that I want to share is about
Crystal. She works at a bar called “The Oasis.” She has a bunch of ex-husbands
and a lot of experiences behind her. One day, a man comes into The Oasis and
asks her for some water “on the rocks.” She gives him a glass and charges him
two dollars. After he drinks it down, she asks him if he likes it. He says,
“I’ve had better.” Crystal wants to know what kind of water he’s had that’s
better than hers.
“Life,” he tells her. She gets busy, having some trouble
with an ex-husband. The man – the one she gave the water to – starts serving
the customers. They are all ordering alcohol, but he’s serving water. Crystal
notices, and tells him, “That’s not what they asked for!”
The Man says, “No, but that’s what they need.” He starts
telling her about herself, and hands her a glass of water. She asks for more.
Of course, this story is one we’re all familiar with
from the New Testament. It’s told in John: Jesus and the disciples come upon a
well at the time of day when there would likely be no women there. The
disciples go on into town to grab some groceries, and Jesus takes a seat by the
well to rest. While he’s resting a woman comes alone to get water from the
well. While she’s drawing the water, Jesus asks her for a drink. She’s
incredulous that he would talk to her, not only a woman, but a woman of
Samaria.
After drinking the water she draws for him Jesus begins
to tell the woman about the water of Life. This opens the door for her; she
begins to ask him some theological questions. After all, the Samaritans
actually worship the same God as the Jews. In fact, they claim the same
forefathers. The well they are at is Jacob’s Well, after the same Jacob that
the Jews call ancestor. I find it quite interesting that in this conversation
between Jesus and the woman at the well, we come to understand that worshiping
God is not something tied to place, but that it is a spiritual activity.
Jesus begins to tell the woman about herself, that she
has had a number of husbands and that the man she lives with now is not her
husband. Of course, she asks him who he
is, and if he is a prophet. He tells her that he is the one that has been
expected! He hasn’t told anyone else this much – it is a woman who first learns
Jesus’ identity. She drops her jar and runs back to town, where she gathers up
others to come learn from him. Of course, the apostles are incredulous that
Jesus would talk to a woman like her, especially a Samaritan woman.
I love this story because it illustrates many wonderful
things about Jesus and his relationship to women and to others. Not only does
he reveal himself to this woman, but he discusses deep theological subjects
with her. Then, he talks with her about very personal issues, making her life
as important as any man’s.
In fact, she brings both men and woman back to with her
to hear him speak. I think an important issue in this story is that of understanding
between people of different spiritual backgrounds. This is an issue that is
very relevant for today. The Samaritans shared the ancestry of Jacob; they
could be called a “People of the Book,” as are Christians, Jews, and Muslims
today. All three groups can claim spiritual ancestry to Abraham. Yet, because
they worship in different ways; because they do not agree about Jesus as
Messiah, there is a lack of understanding and communication between the
mainstream factions of the three.
Now, I’m not talking about fundamentalism and
extremism, but the “regular people.” Jesus himself, in this story, illustrates
that there is much to be learned and understood through discourse between those
of different cultures. Avoiding one another only enhances misunderstanding and
fear.
The Nature of Jesus is debated even among those who call
themselves Christian today. In his time, even his own apostles were unsure who
and what he was. I see myself, in some ways, as this woman at the well. I knew
God all along, as did she – but I didn’t know how well God knew me; that God
could tell me everything about myself.
Unlike the woman at the well, I already knew about Jesus. I knew about him, but I didn’t necessarily know him, because by making some of the choices I made in life, I essentially walked away. Like the woman at the well, I have been married more than once and I have lived with someone without being married. I’ve even practiced other religions and explored different spiritualities.
And like the woman, I have come back to the well, where
I have come to truly know Jesus. Throughout the years since I returned to the
church, I have come to know that God is with us always. In Jesus, Immanuel, “God
With Us,” he walks with me.
SUMMARY
Even in revisiting this book, I had an interesting
experience. I’ve touched on the same stories I did the first time around; I
think because these same stories continue to be easy for me to identify with. Before
I read this book, I used. to identify strongly with the New Testament woman
Mary, sister of Martha. You may recall that Mary sought knowledge at the feet
of Jesus listening to his lessons with rapt attention. As I grew older and
became a working single mom struggling to keep a home, I began to identify a
little more with Martha, who begged Jesus to tell Mary to get up and help her.
It was one of my very favorite stories, for it is a clear statement about the status of women in Jesus circle. However, neither Mary nor Martha are “bad” girls – no, they are both open to God’s word; fortunate women who stood in the Presence of the living Christ and never questioned.
I once thought that I never questioned God, either.
However, after reading Liz’s book, I see that some of my own choices were
questions in themselves – they created a wall between my own heart and the
simple message of Love that God wanted me – wants all of us – to hear.
No, I was never intentionally bad – like Potiphar’s
wife; nor was I ever purposefully hateful toward God and God’s people – like
Jezebel. I was, however, guilty of self-centeredness and self-indulgence. I
still can be these things. This book is sort of a wake-up call to me – a
reminder that each day, I need to consider my actions and reactions carefully.
Each day, I need to review my activities, my decisions, my interactions with
others and see – have I been one of these bad women for a moment? Even for a
small moment in time? If so, I must ask for forgiveness and for the strength
and ability to do better tomorrow.
You know, when I first picked up this book 12 years ago,
like most people, I read the back cover. Rather than kudos from other Christian
writers or critics, there is a note from Liz Curtis Higgs herself. Her first
comment is that as she studied all the usual women of the Bible -- role models
– she found she had nothing in common with them at all. This led her to
discover the lessons in the stories of the “bad girls.” I actually felt a
little sorry for her – she couldn’t find anything in herself reflected in the
“good girls?”
I noted, too that she describes her own writing in a
strongly self confident manner –- “I’ve included plenty of “Lizzie style”
commentary to keep readers smiling…,” she writes. While this may be true, the
fact that she pointed it out herself almost turned me off. Sure, we should all
be self confident; we should all know our strengths and be willing to reveal
them. However, my personal reaction to Liz’s comment was the sense that she is
rather smug about herself. A little “prideful,” I thought. But then, I
reassessed, maybe I’m being overcritical, a little judgmental? So I read the
book anyway.
In the end, I was glad I read it. Looking through it
again, after all these years, I can still find something that makes me go
“ah-ha!”
So, you’ve learned a little bit about this book – and a
little bit about me. If you read “Bad Girls of the Bible,” you’ll be sure to
learn a little bit new about yourself.
If you don’t mind, I’d like to let you in on a little
kept secret – you can learn a little bit about my past in this book. It’s
available on Amazon in print or Kindle.
Thank you for having me!
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